What we made

This is what we made for Ali and Tom we wanted to make them something not buy it. It took a few trys to get their hands right. Chad took the pictures while I help keep Chastity's hands open. They both loved doing it and thought it was cool that I painted on their hands. Alison has it up in her room and I also framed it.

Fear

The girls and I came home today. I had to leave the hospital with one question in my mind, would this be my last day with Alison? As I write this the tears are rolling down my face. These past days have been hard but I'm grateful for the time with her. I hate when I have to leave, but the girls can only take so much and need to be back home. There are a lot of questions that we all have but there never seems to be a right answer. And that question for me is..............
WHY?
I love you Ali and I hope that you know that you have made me be the person that I am today.
I'm not giving up any faith and I'm still staying strong for Alison. I just fears these things and wonder why it has to be Alison there are so many bad people in this world and she is so great. So why her? I know that only God can aswer these question for me.

Perparing

Today was a day of getting ready for our trip to Alison's. I also came up with a cool gift idea for Alison and Tom so we got that together too. I will post it tomorrow and let you in on it. It was also a family day, we hung out by the lake and relax. I always find myself getting stress out once it starts getting closer to leave for Alison's. So I really tried today not to get that way. Chad knows how I get so he was big help also. I always over pack for the girls and I. It's hard because you never know what you'll need for them. I have been trying to leave things for the girls at Alison's house so I don't have to take so much, so that has help.
I spoke to Alison for a few minutes today. My brother Mike was there visiting so we didn't talk to long. I know that things have been rough for her these past few days. She had to get blood already which is and was very fast for her. Normal it last at least a month if not longer. I know that once I get down there it will hit it a lot harder. Not that my faith has change. But I think that maybe it hasn't been so hard for me yet because I haven't seen her since all of this has change. She totally amazes me how STRONG she can be. I'm not for sure if I could be that strong if it was me going through all of this. I look forward to being able to spend these next days with her, Tom and all my other family member that will be around. I know that I talk about how strong Alison is but Tom is just as STRONG. He is her rock and I'm so glad that God put them together. Who would of know the first time they meet each other that would end up together. It's not such a big world after all.

Day at the park

I had to things to take care of in Warsaw so after we got those things done. I took the girls to the park in Warsaw it had been about a month since we had been there so it was time. I took the girls to the garden first to look at the flowers and all the little ponds that they have. They both like it but Chastity wasn't in the picture mood. Alyssa loved it she is my little cheesier and Chastity usually is but I guess it wasn't her day. Once we got that done then we went a played for a couple of hours and then has lunch. After that it was time to head home for nappy time. I knew once it was time to go I'd get the whole "No Home" form Chastity, that's her new thing when it's time to leave. So we finally made it home after a little crying and had nap. After nap then we went up to see Na-Na (my mom) which the girls were so happy about. We hang out for a couple of hours and had dinner with her. It was nice to have a relaxing day. I added some pictures from the park, hope you like them.

Missing Ali

Hey guys I just wanted to let you all know that Alison is doing well after her first radiation. She has another treatment today. I spoke to her for a few minutes this morning and she sounded like her normal self just a little tired. If you check out Tom's blog then you can see a picture of her mask that she has to wear during radiation. She was telling the truth when she said it looked like Micheal Meyers. They are also giving her Atavan, which my mom said that is really knocked her out after her first treatment.
My dad and mom got back late last night from being with Alison. My dad has already left again today to go back down. While mom has somethings to take care of here. She will be heading back down with the girls and I on Sunday. It has been really hard for me to deal with not being able to be by Alison's side when I want too be. With having the girls being so young it's hard for them to be out of their environment. There not used to being quiet all the time or just not being on their normal schedule. For you that have kids you know when something is different then it's harder at times. The girls love being at Auntie Ali and Tom Thumb's house. But there are times when I wish that I could just have a babysitter so I could go and spend the day with Alison. Chad and I have always left the girls with either my mom or his mom. Which my mom is out of the question and he's mom only has Monday and Tuesday off work so it makes it a little harder. But I will say that having the girls help me get through my bad days. You can't be in a bad mood when they are near, Alyssa always seems to know when I need a kiss or a hug. And Chastity knows when I just need a little more loving. Without them I think that I would be lost, life is hard but we always find away to get through it.

Diagnosed

The doctors came up with a plan for Alison. She will be doing radiation for three weeks on her skull. She can't do radiation and chemo at the same time it would just be too much. With her plates low and there is risk of bleeding from her tumor on her skull. Her pain is still there and it's more nerve pain, there are options but they haven't talk about those yet. The doctors have now diagnosed her, she still has Neuroendocrine but now they think that it's Small Cell Neuroendocrine Carcinoma. I will be doing some work today and trying to find all the information on this that I can. She'll have her first radiation treatment today. I know that last time she did radiation it made her pretty tired and very sick. She is in very good spirits and staying strong. When I spoke to her yesterday she wanted me to thank everyone for all the support, thoughts, and prayers.

Few pictures from Alison's

I only have a few picture's from our trip to Alison's. We took most of the picture's on her camera.
Chastity and Elliot.

Chastity and Alyssa

Chastity showing off Alison bandana.

Radiation

So I spoke to Alison, they did an MRI to confirm the tumor behind her right ear and it is there. She went today for her first radiation and to get the markings made. They also had to make a mask for her to wear to cover her face. She said that it was a little scary and she was nervous all at once when they were making it. She said that it looks like Micheal Myers mask. The pain is not there, she is on a very high dose but for the first time in a long time she is pain free. I'm so glad for that I hate to see her in pain. I have been in a lot of pain but nothing like she is going through. I find myself these days not even complain about pain because my pain isn't even pain compared to her pain. I know that God gives use test in life but how many test can he give one person? My mom always said that Alison was and is so bull head and she is right. Not that any person should have or get cancer but he gave it to a very strong willed bullhead women. I love you and Tom with all my heart.

We will beat this.

I put a picture of Alison and our Grandma

Update

Alison had a CT scan in the emergency room and it showed that there was growth in her skull behind her right ear. The doctor on call wants to do radiation but when I talked to Alison yesterday she said that she doesn't want to do it. She sounded really well and said that the pain was a little more under control. She is on a pump now with a consist drip and she can push it ever 30 minutes for extra medicine. She also got a blood transfusion on Saturday night, which usually helps her not feel so weak. We are all staying strong and keep the prayers strong and having faith. Alison is a very determined, one of the strongest women I know. She has so much fight in her and will continue to fight.

Once I speak to Alison or Tom I will post more later.

In a lot of pain

I got to sleep with Alison again Thursday night it was great. We had some more really good talks. Heather and Elliot stayed the night which was so nice to get to spend time with them too. I got to feed Elliot a bottle for the first time. I love to watch Alyssa and Chastity play with her.
On Friday we got up and had pancakes, Alyssa's favorite. Alison wasn't feeling that well she was in a lot of pain. I cleaned the house and Mom did some launder for Alison. We had a lunch with Heather and Elliot. I took Alyssa to the pool again for a couple of hours. Chastity wasn't very happy that she couldn't go but her foot and head are healing fine. I help Alison take and shower and get dress she is using her walker to help her get around. We had decide to head home once Tom got in, he has been in Washington D.C. for the past two weeks. I don't enjoy once it comes time to leave it's really hard on all of us but I wanted to give Alison and Tom time together. She also had another really bad head ache. Which is really hard for the girls to be quite all the time. They did a great job but there were times when they got a little out of control. Alyssa and Chastity slept the whole way home. I knew that they needed it, we didn't get in until around 11:30pm so a couple of hours past their bed time. But once we got home they went right back to bed.
So today the girls did sleep in until about 8:30am, which is sleeping in for Alyssa. We got around and went out for breakfast. We were all happy to see Chad and even Solider miss us.
Then I got a phone call from Alison, she is in a lot of pain and can't even walk anymore. The pain medicines just aren't helping the pain. So her and Tom decide to go to the ER. I haven't talk to her in awhile but I have talk to my Mom and they are going to admit her. My Mom and Dad are down there for a few days. Once I hear anything new I will let you all know more.

Faith

The girls and I arrived at Alison’s yesterday at 6pm I decide to let them take their naps. I knew that it would be a late night and it was I didn’t get them into bed at normal time. Which is normal when were at Auntie Ali’s. The car ride went well they were both very good and I made the trip in 2 hours and 15 minutes not to bad. When we got here Alison was taking a nap so we woke her up and let her know that we were here and then we let her sleep for a couple of hours. We just hang around the house for the night and talk about a lot of things. Since my mom is also here I got to sleep with Alison and Chastity slept in the pack in play in Alison room while Alyssa slept with Na-Na (my mom). It was so nice it made me feel like we were little kids again. Except for the fact that I didn’t have to yell at her for breathing too loud. I used to get so made when we were little and we had to share a room that she was breathing to loud. I would always tell mom “make her stop breathing” which never happened.Today we have been hanging out watching TV with the girls playing outside and taking some funny pictures of the girls. They always seem to put a smile on Ali’s face. After nap I will be taking Alyssa to the pool that they have in Alison’s neighborhood for a couple of hours. Poor Chastity can’t go because of her foot but she’ll be fine because Heather and Elliot will be here by then.
So onto another note Alison got the call today about her biopsy results. The lump that she has by her port is Cancer. I stare at the word on here and I get tears in my eyes. It was a lot harder this time because I have never been face to face with her when she has told me news. I handle myself well until I went and called Chad to tell him the news then I lost it. I’m still staying strong and I have the faith that we can beat this, I just hate seeing her in all this pain. No person should have to go through all this pain. We are still waiting to hear from the doctor on what the next step will be. Alison wants to wait for Tom to go to the doctor with her so that's what she will do. He will be home on Friday so it won't be until Monday. I hope that they come up with a treatment plan...... NOW!!

Update's

I wanted to let everyone know that Alison biopsy went very well yesterday. She didn't have to stay over night and she should know something by Friday. When I spoke to her she was very tired and had a headache. She is such a trooper and always has her game face on. The girls and I will be leaving today to go and see her. There so excited to see Auntie Ali and the kitty's. Plus we will get to spend time with Heather and baby Elliot, which Chastity will just be kissing all over. I know that there going to be spending the day with us one day. My mom is also down there helping out. I'm looking forward to going and spending time with Alison. And I think that her and I might go out and doing something together. Which doesn't happen with having the girls with me. But because mom is there then she can watch them for me. Chad will be staying home ,working, and of course babysitting the Solider.

I also wanted to give an update on Chastity. She is doing very well, her toe seems to bother her some when I have to touch it but rather then that it's fine. And her head seems to be fine but it is also the same way when I have to touch it or she touch it then you hear her say "och". She got to take a bath on Monday for the first time and was all exited about it until I wouldn't let her wash her own hair and then she couldn't play. It has to be a in and out thing because I can't let her toe be under water for a long time. She did rip the bandies off on Saturday when my mom had her so I had to come up with something myself because it was supposed to stay on there for at least a week if it could stay on for two weeks that would be great. We still are taping her hands and feet at nap and bed time so she can't get them off. I add a picture of her showing off her new look that she gets to wear around for at least 10 more days. It funny because the other night we went out to dinner and of course people look at her. And she also had in big letters wrote in purple YES on her foot and on her arm, mark both on the left side. They had to do that so then it just confirms were to do the surgery at. I tryed to wash it off but it isn't going anywhere. It's still there even though she has had two baths. Maybe after her bath today it will come off but if not it's not that big of a deal.

I thought I'd try it out

So I have been thinking about doing this for awhile now but I wasn't for sure if my life is really something to read about. But then I thought well I have a lot going on so why not. And my sister Alison has also inspired me to start one. So will see what happens, I'm sure that there will be days where I might not have a lot to write about but I'll try to post a little something everyday. Here's a little about myself.
I'm a stay at home mom of two little girls, and I love that I get to be one of those mom's that is with them all the time. I'm engaged to Chad. We have been together for almost five years. He is love of my life and he makes me so HAPPY. I'm the youngest of six, my parents had three kids waited ten years and had three more. It was like having two family's. We have a very close relationship and are always having get together's.