Christopher is home

The family has spent the last two nights with Christopher my nephew who is home from Iraq. He is station in Hawaii and has finally got to come back to Indiana for two weeks. It has been great to see him and see how much he has change in these past 10 months. Thursday night I made a big pot roast and had Brian, Kim, Christopher, Dad, and Mike over for dinner. Hung out for a couple of hours, talk, and had a few drinks. Then tonight we went over to Brian and Kim's and had cook-out with Mike, Dad, Chris, Amanda and my family. I love being around the family, it really helps with all that is going on with the pain. I'm so glad that Dad and Mom help us and made us be such a close family. In my eyes no matter what family is always number one you can have all the friends in the world but my family will always be there first and for most. The girls fell in love with Christopher, and he played with them so well I know that he will make a great Daddy......someday. I can still remember babysitting him and his brother Steven (who couldn't come up because he had to work) with Heather and Alison. We were all so close at a young age and that's why we still are so close. Hopefully Christopher will be able to be home for either Thanksgiving or Christmas. It all depends on his orders it's one or the other and the cost of an airplane ticket. It wasn't too cheap for him to fly home this time. He will be leaving again in April to go to Afghanistan not for sure how long this time. We just all hope and pray that he will come home safe. My little girls know that he is a Marine and that he's job is to keep us safe and to protect us. When we first talk to Alyssa about it months ago she said "ya, just like solider protects us" (our dog). This is one thing that my little girls will get is that there are people who fight and give their life everyday so that we can be what and who we are today,tomorrow, and forever.

Birthday party @ School

Yesterday Alyssa had her birthday party at school. The whole family made white cupcakes with orange, brown, and lime green frosting. She has became a really good cook, and she loves to wear her "ship outfit." Chastity and I got to school and celebrate in the party. it was nice to see the way Alyssa acts and how well she listens to her teacher's. They made a crown for her, she got to pick a gift out of a box, and she got to decide what they did for playtime. She pick a little yellow bear and played outside. It was so cute because Chastity was a part of the class, she lined up with them in line and got to sit at the table with Alyssa and all the other kids. I can't wait for Chastity to be in school next year.

2 months

Time in the first few days went by fast but now time has slowed down. I have been trying to keeping myself busy I dislike the fact that my head is like a candler and every time Tuesday comes around I know that it has been one more week. One more week without her, one more week that Alison has miss out on things that we have been doing. It's hard to not be selfish at times, but I know that she is also in a better place. That she where she needed to be. She was needed more in Heaven then here on Earth. I say those things but I still wish that she was here with me. I still want to pick up the phone and call her when things happen and I know that she would love to hear about it. I haven't spoke to Tom in awhile, not that I don't want to but it's hard. Every time I think about calling him I get tears in my eyes and my throat gets that lump in it. We have spoke through email but it's not the same. I had felt that we had gotten really close but now I know that I have put up some of a little wall between us. The girls really miss him and still ask about him and Ali. They haven't forgot them, I was afraid that they might stop asking questions about both of them. But then I will hear one of them say "Auntie Ali in Heaven with the angels." Or "Mommy Tom Thumb is my uncle and I love him." I'm glad that they both get that they can talk to her. And Alyssa has always told me from the day that Ali past that she can see her up in the sky. I really wonder if she really can? I won't let them forget about Ali and Tom. And I know that there will be a time when it won't hurt so bad to talk to Tom or to see him. No matter what he's still the girls uncle and my brother-in-law. We love you Tom and Ali and are always thinking about you.

Hanging out with the kiddies

We went and had dinner at the park Friday night. I took Laramie, Serena, Noah, Olivia, Alyssa, and Chastity. It was nice to have the girls running around and playing with all of them. We always seem to have so much fun together. And I knew that the third row would come in handy at some point in time and it did. Of course the kids just thought it was cool that we still had a third row. And Laramie is getting older now to where she wants to "back her booty up" aka "dance". I love the relationship that I have made with all of them. Alyssa and Chastity seem to adore them in their own little way also.
The little wind mills are Olivia and Laramie's that they made at school. Goshen Middle School has them displayed outside to show that they have World Peace.

Alyssa singing

Here is a song that Alyssa learned in school. Chad and I didn't even know about it until she sang it for Na-Na (Chad's mom) on Tuesday when she had her. So then she finally sang it for us. She will sing it for anyone now. It's so funny because she has done it so many times that now Chastity can sing it just not as fast as Alyssa. This is what Alyssa does she will tell anyone and everyone about school but if Chad and I ask she'll say I don't want to talk about it right now. I'm so glad that they send a news letter home every week. She also has learned a prayer that we say at every meal now. I'll get that on video next.

Hello Fall

Yesterday was one of Alison's favorite day. She would get all her things out, light candles, and drink some cinder. The picture that I have of her goes even better now because it goes with all of the decorations. I can still see Tom and Alison's house in my head when I went in October 2006. It smelled so good, it look so cute with all her fall decorations out. I know that life has been hard but I have found ways to help me get through this. The pain will never go away, thoughts of her still run through my head, and I know that she is watching over me. I still have my good days and my bad days but I also know that she would want me to stay strong, and be strong. I love and miss you Alison.

It's our anniversary

Happy Anniversary
Today is five years that you and I have been together. You are a wonderful man, great father, and my best friend. I am so glad that we meet back in high school our senior year. And who would ever know then that we would end up together and have a family. I can still remember the first time we hung out, first time we talk on the phone, our first kiss, our first dance, our first place together, telling you that we were going to have a baby, asking me to marry you, and all the things that you have done and do for me. It's more then I could ever want and need. Giving me your love, support, our daughter's, trust, and most of all you being you. Thank you for these past five years I can't wait to spend the next five years with you.
I love you.