Monday, January 05, 2009
Today is 5 months that Ali left to be with our maker. There has been very hard days, hard hours, and hard minutes. There were days when as soon as I woke my first thought was her. Now that days has become months, my thoughts of Ali are still there but I don't always break down when the thought of her comes into my head. Don't take me wrong I still have BAD days. But I'm also learning to remember Ali in not such SAD ways more and more everyday. You really don't know how much one person means the most to you or you rely on them until there gone. I know that I have said this before she was more then a sister she was my best friend, person that I went to for advice and most of all my HERO. I also am still trying and learning more and more WHY she had to go. WHY she had to have cancer, I'm trying not to be so anger about it. I do know that writing this is EASIER said then done. But I do know for me to better myself and give all that I can give to my family that I have to learn how to deal with this better then I have been.
I miss her voice, her smile and her comfort. Alyssa has been asking about Ali a lot these pass days. She talks about her at least once a day but now these past days it's been 4 or 5 times a day. She tells me that she talks her but she doesn't talk back and that she can't see her anymore. She used to tell me that she could see her. So Chad and I think that, this is why she is asking about so much and crying for her. Chastity still says that Auntie Ali is in Heaven mommy. Losing someone is one of the hardest things in life but I do hope that once it's my time she will be there waiting for me. I love you ALI