But it still HURTS

I've been thinking a lot about this quote " With time things do get better". I always thought that was easier said then done..... but it's TRUE. But it still HURTS.
The emotion's that I was having and going through last year are nothing like that now. Don't get me wrong I miss Ali more then words can describe. But I also know that she is where nothing really matters, EXCEPT that she is WELL and HAPPY. I still have moments where I'm selfish and NEED her and WANT her here with me. But I think no matter what we all have a little bit of selfishness in us when it comes to wanting a loved one back.
I can still remember like it was yesterday getting chills in Ali's hospital room and looking over and knowing that she has past at that moment. Getting up walking over to her and knowing that she wasn't breathing. I was the one that said "She's not breathing".
For the first 3 months every morning when I'd wake up my first thought was "My sister is no longer here". It was hard to start your day off like that. But once I got over that HATE and being MAD that she was gone I didn't have that thought. And I'm not even really for sure who I had HATE towards or who I was MAD at? I was HAPPY that she wasn't in pain anymore, but the selfishness still wanted her HERE.
I love you Ali, and no matter what I will NEVER forget you and the person that you were. You made life sweet, and totally worth living. Because of you my life has forever been change.

Reunion 09

We had the Morgan Reunion on Saturday down at Rushville. It's where it is every year. There was a good turn out few people were missing but we still had a great time. We got our new generation pictures with Great Na-Na. Even though we don't get to see her a lot the girls are still so lovey with her, and she loves it. We also took Heather's and Mike's with Amanda and her little bean in her belly. The first Great Great Grandchild. That's right my niece Amanda and her boyfriend Jamie are pregnant she is due in January. I can't wait I'm going to be a Great Auntie, makes me feel a little old but oh well it's only a number.

My 2nd cousin, dog had puppies so they brought one down that they hadn't sold yet. It's a chocolate lab.... so cute.... I want one!!!! The girls were all over her and they wanted her also. But we don't want one right now and also we'd like a male once we really want one. For the first time in five years we have no pets.

Good bye Paisley

I'm sad to tell you all the Paisley is no longer with use. Ever since we got her in August after Ali past away she has been coming outside with us. Then it got to the point where she would go to the door (like a dog) and meow because she wanted to be out. And then she would come back to the door and meow to be let in. Since the weather has been nice she has been out a lot. There were a few times where she was out all night because I would call for her and she wouldn't come back. But when Chad would leave in the morning she'd be at the door waiting and he'd let her in. She never would go too far just to the neighbor's on either sides of our house.
Well Tuesday night she wanted out and when I went to call for her she wouldn't come in . So in the morning I figured she'd be waiting at the door hungry and ready to eat but no Paisley. By night time I was getting a little worried because we hadn't seen her all day. Did some looking around and still couldn't find her. By this point I'm thinking someone took her or she got hit. Of course the girls were worried but I told them she must be with the other cat that runs around in the neighborhood no big deal.
It turns out that my worst thought was true, she got hit. We didn't find her our neighbor Bill was going on his morning walk and found her. But the sad thing is on his way back from his walk she was gone. Not for sure if the person that hit her pick her up and buried her or what?
Chad and I talked about it and deiced it was best just to let the girls think she out running around being happy with the other cat. We all loved her so much and are very heart broken. I felt like it was my little bit of Ali, I never thought I'd be so attach to a cat but now that she is gone I miss her. She was a one of a kind cat. She could open any door with her paws, could jump higher then any cat I knew, and was very loving.
Good bye Paisley thank you for coming into our life's we miss you very much.

Part 3

July 2nd
We got up and went to the Indy Zoo. Something that we have been doing for the past 3 summers when Chad is off for the week. We pick a zoo and go. So this year it was Indy. We have been to Ft. Wayne and Toledo. The weather was perfect it wasn't to hot and not to cold. We had a blast, the girls also have such a great time. Alyssa feed a Griffie twice because Chasity didn't want to do it, touch a snake and shark. We got to watch a elephant get a bath. And went to the dolphin show. Which was really neat, the under water dome is really COOL. They have a Walrus that is so tall he can touch the bottom on the tank and his head is out of the water. The girls really enjoyed watching the Walrus because one of them would come right up to the window that we were standing at and just love all over the window. The girls were laughing so hard at him. We made it through the zoo and look at everything in five hours, not to bad. Chastity was a sleep before we were even out of Indy. Alyssa took a little longer but they both slept the whole way home.

July 3rd
We all got up together and made a family breakfast. The girls love to help make pancakes, the favorite in the house are blueberry for Chastity and Alyssa likes strawberry. And of course there made with fresh fruit. Then I went to Wal-mart to get grocery's. It was a little crazy at the store, the aisles were pack with people. I was glad that I didn't have the girls with me. They stay home with Daddy and took a nap. We had some friends down too hang out by the lake, boat rides, dinner, snores and fishing. The girls both are having a lot of fun in the lake this year. And Chastity will touch worms and hold fish now. Alyssa doesn't care she'll touch anything.

July 4th
Happy Independence Day!!!!
The plan was to have a party at our house this year and then watch the fire works out on the lake. A bunch of neighbors get together on Waube Lake and put on a GREAT show. Which is what we did even though the weather wasn't too great we still had fun.
I nannied at Lake Wawasee for a couple of hours and took the kids to The boat Company. It was a lot of fun. If you've never been you got to go. There only open on Saturdays but have tons of fun things to do with the kids. They have face painting, craft, water park, and more. It work out great because I work when it was nap time for the girls so I didn't miss anything. The rain held off until about 4pm and then stop until about 6pm and rained for awhile but it wasn't a wash out. Plus we have a big tent set up so once it started to rain we all hung out under it. Our friends next door caught a snapping turtle and it was HUG I'm sure it weighed 15 to 20 pounds.I think besides the fireworks it was the highlight of the night. I know there out there but it's a little different when you see them that up close. It was too cold to go swimming but we did go on boat rides, bonfire, cook out and some fishing the normal routine that we did all week pretty much. The girls loved the fireworks but once they were over they were ready for bed. It was 11:30 before they got to bed which was the latest they stay up all week.
July 5th
The girls slept in til 9:00am. I was really happy when I rolled over and look at the clock. The weather was WONDERFUL. So we let the girls play outside. There was no swimming the lake was really dirty, I think it was from all the fireworks. After the show on Saturday you couldn't even see across the lake it was so smokey. But at least the sun was out and it was warm. We just took it easy, Chad goes back to work today. I can't believe how fast the week went. I guess that's what happens when your having fun. I'm pretty for sure that Chad could use a couple more days off. But he does what he has to do so that I get to stay home with our girls. Thanks honey I love you even more for that.

Part 2

Here's Part 2 of the week. Which has been another GREAT 3 days. Only 3 more to go and vacation is over. It goes by so fast when your always doing something.

June 29

DATE NIGHT!!!!
The girls went and stayed at Chad's mom for the night. So chad and I went to The Chief for some BLUE MOON..... Love it! Then to the movies, we saw Transformer, it ROCKED!!! Out to dinner, LOVE when I get a HOT dinner. I'm always the last one to sit down at the dinner table so mine is always not HOT. Then we came home had a bonfire, snores and went out a late night boat ride. It was one of the best DATE NIGHTS in awhile.
June 30th
Chad and I both slept til 10:30 am. Ya way LATE in this household. Then I had a haircut appointment. Always love getting my hair cut, I go to US Male in goshen and Brooke L. does it, she ROCKS. Pick the girls up from Na-Na's and came home for their nap time. We decided to make today be take a break day. Plus the weather was a little cool out.
July 1st
We went to down town Indy for a couple of hours. Took the girls to the mall, and check out the Clots Stadium. We had wanted to do more but it started raining. Then we went to Heather's for the night. We had a little cook out, let the girls play, and a few drinks. My new favorite is Fruit Passion Vodka with Sprite, Thanks sis. Elliot is getting so big and they all 3 play and interact so well together. We always love spending time with Heather, Michael, and Elliot. Thanks for letting us stay at your crib.

Were going to the zoo, zoo, zoo how about you, you, you. You can come too, too , too were going to the zoo, zoo, zoo
More Later......