Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Hard Day

Yesterday we had uncle Larry's viewing. When we arrived people were standing outside and there was a line to the road. If we would of had to stand in line the wait would of been an hour and forty minutes. The total people in attends for the viewing was 1500 people. He was a very important man, father, grandpa, and uncle. When I walk into the church the smell of all the flowers and plants brought back all the thoughts that I had the day I had to walk in to the funeral home for ALISON'S viewing. It's a smell that I don't think will ever go away.
Today was the funeral uncle Larry and family are Catholic so the funeral was a little different then what Chad and I have been too. I knew that today was going to be hard. My heart still hasn't gotten over ALISON. I did well until some of the grandchildren got up and spoke. They recited poems and told old stories. And then once they took the casket out, knowing that his family all felt the same way I did that day that this is (was for me) the last time they would see him. I know that once you go to Heaven that it's not the end. But in my heart it feels that it is the end, the end for ALISON and I. It has been two weeks today but it feels like months. I miss talking to her, seeing her, just being with her. I know that I will have my bad days and my good days. This is one of my bad days.

7 comments:

Sarah said...

Bad days are ok, Rene! Especially being at a funeral which I'm sure brings up so many of the bad memories. Let yourself grieve though... You do not have to be strong for anyone!

Chin up! I'm here for you!

Stephanie said...

I think youre doing awesome, and it will definitely take time. You will never get over losing your sister. You dont have to. Youll just learn to cope. You and Chad look great in your picture!!

Kimberly said...

And you are entitled to them. I am here. You know my number. Take care and I am thinking of you!

Kimberly

-T- said...

Hang in there, kiddo.

Anonymous said...

You are expected to have bad days and that is ok! You loved and will always love your sister. You two were close. It's ok to break down whenever you feel like it! The picture of you and Chad is awesome. So beautiful! All of you sisters have a lot of similarities.

Marissa

MaHaley said...

You will have good days and bad days sweetie. As time passes the pain in you heart will be replaced with cherished memories of her. She will always be with you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kim said...

Wonderful picture of you and Chad!! I must have one of my own! I understand your saddness; I had a bad day yesterday also. Please remember to take your pain to God and he will help you thru this. Lots and love and hugs!!

love your big sis!